Once I came across unexpected news out of the blue. I had been on a media diet. Sick of reading the daily news yet, every once in awhile, I catch up with what’s going on in the world. One way I do that is to read foreign sources and in particular german sources since it’s a language I speak. I stumbled across a headline and for some unknown reason felt a knot in my stomach. I can’t explain it but it compelled me to read about an event that I normally would pass over. I followed the curiosity and then I saw a picture and it couldn’t be. This is a man I knew! The loss of someone I had known and spent time with in my 20’s was overwhelming. I felt so many unexplained emotions.
Rodney represented a part of my life that was sweet, tender, adventurous, and daring which has been dormant for a long time now. I remember spearfishing with him and Tink and Peter’s dad when we were in our 20’s. Adventuring around our favorite Caribbean island on scooters and motorcycle. Doing ‘fun runs’ also knowns as Hash House Harriers. The one we participated in happened on a rainy island day, we were soaked and caked with mud and could barely walk by the time the run was over, shoes so heavy with sticky earth that we ended up barefoot. It was an all day adventure and by the time we rode home on our scooters and motorcycle the rain had showered us clean. One time we ended up on a boat off a smaller island spearfishing and the current would have swept the three of us out to see if it weren’t for our local fisherman and his boat rescuing us. He also introduced me to roadside Roti’s which to this day are one of my all time favorite foods. I did have a crush on him even though I was married and very fond of him because of his sweetness, joy for life, and sense of adventure. He was a safe man to have these feelings for because he was an honorable friend and I was a wife who’s vows at the time were meant for eternity.
Years afterwards I often would dream of Rodney. He’d be walking towards me as if wanting to speak and say something but I could never hear him. There was a layer of sheer white fabric blowing between us and the blue sea just beyond where he was walking from, the scene was always high on a cliff. It’s such a vivid dream and I had it so often that it plays like a movie in my mind. When Tink and Peter’s dad and I divorced he was the one person I looked up online and saw he was married living somewhere unimaginable for the person I knew and let it be and let it go.
Then it happened, I read the world news, and I found Rodney had died doing something he loved. It was surreal to read about his passions and to hear one of his daughters on TV, sweet and steady, very much like I her father at close to the same age as she is. Today, I remember us back in our 20’s and see how some of us are better at honoring our true selves and following our dreams which feed our souls. He seemed to have accomplished having a career and not letting go of the adventure which fed his soul.
Your life was lived well, R.I.P.